Previously on “The Defenders” - THIS

Now, on “The Defenders”:


1) Take out

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You vs. The guys she told you not to worry about

In some vans down by the river, White Hat and Madame Gao assemble their goon squad and head to the Royal Dragon for some General Tso’s and a side of ass kicking.

The drop in - literally - on The Defenders squaring off against Elektra.

Through the chaos Gao’s Gaoons unleash automatic weapons fire on the restaurant. The Royal Dragon will definitely be closed for remodeling tomorrow.

Gao stops the bullet parade; she wants Matt Murdock, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Danny Rand, and Stick Stickly alive.

Stick suggests they’ll live if they work together. Matt takes that as his cue to do the opposite.

He grabs Elektra for a One-On-One date in the back. This will definitely affect his chances at the Rose Ceremony later.

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Electro? He’s a Spider-Man villain.

It’s chaos everywhere. Murdock and Elektra fight into the back alley. He tells her that is her name and she stops, then runs off into the night. She’s a reverse Beetlejuice?

Out front Luke fights White Hat who thinks it’s time to take out the trash. So a trash truck runs over Cage.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Defenders exit stage sewer hole.

Alexandra Grant watches from her car like a dog who saw a squirrel.

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“How long does it take to make orange chicken?”

2) Can I borrow your office

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“Who clogged the toilet?”

Colleen practices her punch attack on a punching bag in her dojo. Danny bursts through the door with the rest of the “team”.

Danny tells them he owns a building nearby and they can hide there; did he forget he owns this building too? I guess everyone is trying to forget “Iron Fist.”

Suddenly, a Luke Cage appears, White Hat in tow. Finally; a kind-of win for the good guys.

3) Teenage angst has paid off well

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“It’s okay, you’re flowering, we all explore our bodies in different ways.”

Elektra sharpens her s-words in her bedroom furnished by IKEA. Grant enters and talks to the Black Sky like it’s her daughter. Murakami barges in to give Grant a status update. Doesn’t anyone knock?

He wants to tell Grant about Elektra’s Beetlejuice moment. Grant cuts him off because it’s only episode five.

4) You punched the wrong guy

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“The first one was Pepsi, the second one was Coke.”

The gang interrogates White Hat. Danny does his best “bad cop” impression but he just sounds like a cop who is bad at his job. White Hat tells Danny that he sucks as Iron Fist and America cheers.

The Hand want The Fist but not Danny. So then…curl your fingers together?

Jessica has enough and knocks him out. I meant White Hat but I understand if you hoped I meant Danny.

5) They’re all Sexy Luke Cage moments

Luke wakes up Claire at home. Doesn’t anyone knock?

He tells her they gotta run because The Hand might be watching. They have a classic Sexy Luke Cage moment before taking off.

6) The DMV was out of “BORT” license plates

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INCONSPICUOUS

In the car outside Colleen bitches at Danny about involving everyone else in this fight. They’re VERY inconspicuous in an SUV with the license plate “RAND ENT 27.”

Two more SUVs approach and the pair split off. Danny gets in an alley fight. Colleen, meanwhile, is approached by her old sensei - Bakuto.

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“You’ll be happy to know I’m still a human anus.”

Turns out he didn’t really care for being dead so he came back. He offers her back her place in The Hand. Colleen declines so Bakuto slices open her stomach. Nice, Bakuto; ask her out and then attack her when she says no. Bet he tweets a lot about women not liking “nice guys” like him.

Luke, Danny, and Claire arrive and Bakuto takes off. Guess the triple date isn’t happening.

7) In recovery

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“What are you doing here Matt you can’t even read.”

Karen Page works late in her office at the New York Bulletin. Matt stops by to tell her about The Hand. Karen is pissed off that Matt has relapsed on his superheroism. It’s only out of the mask, though, and only socially! She agrees to let him put her under protective watch.

8) That’s not how 911 works

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“It only hurts when I do anything at all.”

Luke swings by Misty Knight’s precinct as part of the supporting character roundup. They bring in Colleen who’s still hurt. It’s not a hospital you doofuses.

9) The Jerk Store

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U2 on the set of their new music video

White Hat and Stick have a lil’ heart-to-heart about who’s the bigger cryptic jerk.

Matt returns without Karen. What? “Only I can protect you, Karen. Now I’m gonna drop you off somewhere else.”

He and Stick have a lil’ Sorkin walk-and-talk. Stick insults Matt while telling him he’s great. Matt tells him to suck a fart. What a change in their dynamic.

10) Devil May Cry

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When you take hours to get ready and she doesn’t notice

Jessica interrupts Trish at dinner, the final piece of the supporting character puzzle. They’re jumped by another Hand goon but are saved by the timely intervention of - Daredevil! Does Matt suddenly have a teleporter?

11) Iron Fist #10 (Dec 1976)

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JUST LIKE THE COMICSSSSSSS

Karen, Foggy, Malcolm, and Trish are all at the police station. With Colleen and Claire and Misty. Defenders B-squad Assemble!

Misty and Colleen have a chat and the nerds cheer - it’s the Daughters of the Dragon!

12) Forgot to mention…

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“Tell me I look pretty!”

Daredevil interrogates White Hat, who reveals that Matt knows Elektra. Uh oh!

13) Why can’t she just be Sky and the other one be White Sky

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When you realize your boss is literally insane

Bakuto, Gao, Grant, and Murakami - The Handfenders - gather to talk Black Sky. Without the fifth finger of The Hand to control her the gang is worried she can’t be contained. Grant gives them the middle finger instead.

14) Stick should change his name to Sword

Matt comes clean about Elektra’s death and rebirth. If she dies again is it considered a redeath?

While they argue over who is the least trustworthy of the group, White Hat breaks free and holds Danny at knifepoint. Stick cuts his head off.

Heads will roll

I meant White Hat but I understand if you hoped I meant Danny.

15) Your House

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But Goldilocks thought the third bed was juuuuust right

Elektra Alanis Morissettes her way in to Matt’s apartment.

She crawls in to bed and has an ACTION! PACKED! NAP!


This was like the first episode where we gathered up our heroes except now we gathered all our supporting characters in one convenient place for The Hand.

Remember when they dismantled an entire hospital in “Daredevil?” I doubt this precinct will be left standing by the end of the series.

Read more “The Defenders” recaps

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