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November 07, 2014

Ozzy Osbourne’s headless bat reacts to NOFX frontman Fat Mike punching a concertgoer.

NOFX’s Fat Mike punched and kicked a concert goer who jumped on stage and attempted to put his arm around the musician in the middle of a song.

That sounds pretty harsh, but after watching the video below, at Funny Or Die News we’re taking Fat Mike’s side. The fan (who is wearing a bucket hat, so judge him as you will) blindsides Fat Mike and wraps his arm around his neck pretty aggressively. Mike appears to just be reacting and defending himself from a “fight or flight” lizard brain stance. Okay, maybe that would explain the punch, but not the kick to the face once the dude is on the ground. I guess that was just Fat Mike being punk rock. Watch the video below to decide for yourself.

The good news is that the concert attendee/idiot and Fat Mike have apologized and made peace on Twitter, with Fat Mike even offering to buy the punk fan/dumbass a beer at their next show:

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Isn’t that nice? Punk rockers are all a bunch of sweeties deep down.

And to put into perspective that a punch and a kick to the face is by far from the worst thing that could happen to someone at a concert, here is an exclusive statement from the bat who had his head bitten off by Ozzy Osbourne at a Black Sabbath concert:

Why is everyone making such a big stink out of this? All Fat Mike did was punch and kick the guy. I got my head bitten off without provocation! Just thought of something, if Fat Mike were a bat he would be called Bat Mike. Is that a funny thought? I’m not sure, cause it’s pretty hard to have a refined sense of humor when you don’t have a head. So the concertgoer who was punched isn’t planning on suing. I would of sued, but it’s fairly difficult to find legal representation when you don’t have a head. Also, the guy who got punched was wearing a bucket hat. I would love to wear eclectic hats and visors, but it’s not particularly easy when you don’t have a head. If there’s one positive consequence of my decapitation, it’s no longer having ears to listen to NOFX’s shitty music.

— -a headless bat

I think we’ve all learned something here today. And now for your viewing pleasure, NOFX kickin’ face: