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June 05, 2012

A response to a news article. Huffington Post's articles are always all over the place. For this one, I found even a 2-tiered tweet wasn't sufficient, so there's this. It's actually a PRO-FACEBOOK rant. Haters gon' hate. ALSO, I BLAME FACEBOOK FOR OUR ECONOMIC CRISIS.


I just pulled up this link from Huffington Post on my twitter (@emilee_with2Es). The tweet by @HuffingtonPost was:  "Bad news for Facebook huff.to/K9VCtH
Obviously, the former Facebook-user in me was eager to click this. The actual headline read, “Facebook Ads, Comments Don’t Sway Most Users: Poll.” (We’ll save the Poor Headline Writing Rant for another time.) BTW - any time I use quotes here, the source is the above article. SO sick of APA, so there’s your disclaimer.

Anyway, according to a poll, apparently “Four out of five Facebook Inc users have never bought a product or service as a result of advertising […]” This comes as no surprise to me, really. 
“The findings underscore investors’ worries about Facebook’s money-making abilities […]” Well, it looks like Zuckerburg’s wave riding is over. But what I’m so confused with is why everyone is so worried about it. Facebook can’t make any more money. Who caaaaaares? 

money_down_toilet.jpgMaybe Facebook is the reason why our economy sucks. Ever think of that? With all the businesses paying Zuckerburg for advertising space but getting no revenue in return? That’s called wasting money, am I right? Literally like throwing an anchored suitcase of greenbacks (that’s a synonym for “money,” I looked it up) into the depths of our gross oceans. Facebook was launched when? 2004, right? When did our economy start taking a downhill sleigh ride? Right around then? I’m not a history buff, and to be completely honest, when it comes to politics, ignorance is bliss for me. But this might be something to think about. That’s all I’m saying. Food for thought.

Moving on, “Not everyone is convinced [Facebook] has figured out how to translate [its] popularity into a business […]” But why does it have to?! Just because of its “lofty valuation” it’s been given? That’s not Facebook’s fault that stupid stock market people thought they could make bank by putting a price on it. 
“Facebook has a lot of work to do in terms of making its advertising more effective and more relevant […]” No they don’t. It is a SOCIAL NETWORKING site. Meant to keep people connected…and occasionally announce break-ups and I-hate-my-GD-job tirades and invade the worlds of its users with photos of proud parents’ “cute” kids. But really.  It was made as a means of staying connected, not making more money for the already-too-rich people.

facebook_zuckerberg.jpgUsers will still use Facebook even if there aren’t Ads. Actually, they’d probably prefer it that way. I know I would. “But then I won’t make any more money and how will I buy my 4th house and 12th sports car?” -Mark Zuckerburg Well, dear, it’s time you go back to being a normal college grad like the rest of us underemployed peons…oh wait, you’re already a millionaire. WHO CARES! 

Turn Facebook (Inc) back into the original plan and framework that Facebook was…and so many people will be so much happier. Especially the businesses losing money on Ads. Oh and the people who DIDN’T buy stock. Oh, and most importantly, the people who make Facebook what it is, who give Facebook life and keep it thriving…THE OVER 900 MILLION ACTIVE USERS.

Or don’t do any of this. I’m not a Facebook user anymore, what do I care?

Yes, I wrote this instead of writing my Case & Law Review for class. You’re welcome.