You have read …
Mistress Clarvenzia’s retort to a submissive, who has bribed the Madison Square Garden scoreboard operator to display a “Will you marry me?”-type message, only it reads, “Mistress Clarvenzia, would you dress me up like Martha Stewart trying to impersonate a French maid and pour scalding marinara sauce on my back while you PADDLE, PADDLE, PADDLE me HARD, HARD, HARD with a cake plate, as you chastise me for eating cupcakes with my salad fork?” (the retort coming just before she sticks a ball gag in his mouth, puts him on a leash and leads him away as he grins – or would grin, if he weren’t wearing the ball gag)
As witnessed by Ivan O’Uris
(Only it wasn’t at Madison Square Garden, it was actually during the halftime of an NBA exhibition game at the Sprint Center)
Background Notes: Ivan overheard the retort cited in the above minimalist poem while going to the concession stand. Acting out of instincts honed through his years of journalism, he tracked down the dominatrix and her submissive and got the story behind it, which inspired the poem’s lengthy title and led to an article about the American BDSM scene for the newspaper The Luscian O’Buenklava.
One Other Noteworthy Fact: The submissive (referred to in Ivan’s article as “Maggot Toe,” for privacy reasons) got Mistress Clarvenzia to attend the game by tricking her into thinking they were attending a BDSM convention. When she learned the truth, she became angry, not because her submissive had deceived her, but for not tricking her into attending an American football game, because as she put it, “Everyone knows that American football is thinly-disguised sadomasochistic eroticism.”
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