Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or

1. BEETLEJUICE

Beetlejuice is Tim Burton's best film to date. Don't even try to argue with me asshole you know it's true. When I was still not even a year old, my parent's purchased me a beetlejuice doll. I know what your thinking and yes your right, shitty parenting. But if it wasn't for beetlejuice I wouldn't have fallen in love with Alec Baldwin. Yes as asinine as that sounds its true. When I was really starting to focus on screenwriting I went back and watched some of my favorite movies I watched beetlejuice. So I went to IMDB afterwards and discovered Glen Gary Glen Ross. So I must thank Tim Burton for this childhood favorite and everything that happend because of it.

Favorite Line: Adam-- Barb, honey... we're dead. I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore.
 

2. BULL DURHAM

Once of the best sports film's of all time. And to guy at his computer screaming Remember the Titans or Rudy was better, calm down, I said one of the best not THE BEST. Bull Durham was filmed here in my home state of North Carolina, so it's required viewing. It was especially required viewing for me since I grew up playing baseball. Anyway what this filmed did to shape me was it drew me into the "good" romantic comedy genre. It can't be all action and shooting and tities, you have to watch some romantic comedies. And if your girlfriend wants to watch something romantic, pop this in the dvd player instead of some shitty kate hudson movie. Also one of Kevin Costners best films because he doesnt direct it.

Favorite Line: Crash Davis-- Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat.


3. The Naked Gun

The holy grail of parody films hit theatre's the year I was born. Leslie Nielsen gives a performance that has gone un-matched in any other comedy film. Ricardo Montalban is a wealthy criminal. Hell for christ's sake The Fucking Juice, OJ SIMPSON, is in this film! My dad loves watching comedy movie's with me and this is one me and him have spent countless hours bonding as we re watch it. It's a film I will always treasure. Trust me if your ever sad or depressed, pop this one in, if you don't laugh then your probably justified in hating yourself for being a piece of shit.

Favorite Line: Frank-- No... you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
 

4. Die Hard

YES! The greatest action film to ever be released came out in 1988. John McClane, the most badass man to ever carry a baretta and a badge. He is witty, tough, romantic, and possibly racists but we all love him. Alan Rickman made his screen debut as Hans Gruber, one of the most awesome criminals in cinema history. This is the film in which all action films are measured up against. I've wrote two screenplays so far that copy the exact pacing and tone of this film. It made almost a $140 million at the box office so you can understand why. The best thing about it is the fact the it came out exactly one week after I was born. So id like to imagine that my parent's left me and my shitty diapers and soft head in the hands of a under qualified baby sitter looking for coke money, so that they could go out and try ad keep the fire going since having a responsibility like me was probably gonna douse that fire and drown their dreams.

Favorite Line: Hans Gruber-- This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John McClane-- That was Gary Cooper, asshole.

 

Well I hope you all enjoy this. This was my first article ever and I hope I can continue to write these and hopefully they will be funny. If not I will just go cry in my bedroom and masturbate to that wierd sex scene in The Watchmen. You know that one where patrick wilson and malin akerman are naked for no reason in the weird little ship rubbing themselves against one another as leonard cohens song hallejuah plays in the background.

 

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More