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October 19, 2016
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We asked the only folks who've been called monsters more than the candidates who they're voting for.

With Halloween just around the corner and Election Day only a few days after that, it’s the perfect time to ask the only folks who’ve been called monsters more than the candidates themselves who they’re supporting this election.


Count Dracula

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“As a lifelong mirror-dodger, I can look past both candidates’ transparency issues. However, I do see Donald Trump as the bigger threat, especially in terms of stealing more wives from my village.”


Frankenstein’s Monster

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“Clinton tries hard to be real human. Like me. I vote Clinton. Wait, there is Green Party?”


The Wolf Man

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“Still undecided… One part of me can relate to Clinton’s paranoia and desperate attempts at concealing a certain side of her nature. Another part of me identifies with Trump’s temperament and predatory tendencies.”


The Invisible Man

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“Gary Johnson. He gets me.”


The Creature From the Black Lagoon

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“First of all, don’t call it the Black Lagoon. It’s called Atlantic City. Second, definitely not Trump. That creature from the orange desert stiffed me thirty thousand bucks. “


The Mummy

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“I don’t like the way either campaign has been digging things up, but I guess I can sympathize more with Clinton’s private tombs being raided by foreign meddlers. Plus, I really want to see the curse she surely unleashes on them.”


Freddy Krueger

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“Jill Stein. I can identify with someone who only has power in people’s dreams.”


Pumpkinhead

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“I know who you want me to say, but I’m not going to indulge you.”


Leatherface

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“Yeah, sorry. Too obvious.”


The Devil

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“I somehow need both of them to win. Or else I have to refund someone a soul.”

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