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April 24, 2013

A rant about friends that go travelling and think your life is so rubbish you want to hear all about it... constantly




Nothing winds me up more than travellers. I’m not talking about gypsies, I’m talking about people that go travelling. More specifically people that think you want to hear about every aspect of their life whilst travelling. Let me break it down:


Fact 1: Your life was boring, so you went travelling

Fact 2: Your life is still boring you are just in a different place

Fact 3: I don’t want to fucking hear about it


Here’s the truth. Its OK not to like travelling. Sure go on holiday, head to Greece, get there enjoy yourself, spend 5 euros buying the daily mail just so you can keep up to date with what’s going on at home... hmmm. 


I hate peoples excuses for going travelling. ‘I’m going to find myself...’ What does that even mean? I’ve never had to find myself before, I know where I fucking am. You don’t need to go somewhere new on the other side of the world that you have never been to before. In fact that will probably make finding anything at all more difficult.


But if you do want to go travelling, sure head off, enjoy yourself. But keep yourself to yourself. Do not spend all your time traveling on facebook posting shit status updates like:


‘Oh its so refreshing helping Africans build a school’ 


You may get a response from me like:


‘Fuck off’


Once you’ve waded through endless shit status updates like above, which if you haven’t realised have the same message ‘look at me, my life is so much better than yours’, you’ve got the next worse thing. The photos. Jeeze. If I see another picture of someone I don’t really know jumping up in the air on a beach... Fuck me, who invented that pose. It does nothing for the subject other than make them look like more of a twat and it ruins what could be a nice landscape shot. It’s not original... Oh wait there’s another one of the same person on a different beach at a different time of the day... no still shit. 


Then when they do return a year or so later. The next truth is: everyone has changed. I might not necesarily still want to be your friend. Whilst you have been off galivanting around the world and telling me every tiny achievement (‘oooh I swam with a turtle’, ‘oooh I got drunk in a bar that has a very similar name to one of my facebook friends so took a picture with a group of us pointing at it’) you’ve missed the fact that I lost my job and now work in McDonalds. I’ve got new bunch of friends cause when you left I had a friend vacancy... and there is no way I’m putting my new friend through the pain of re-listening to your ‘amazing’ stories that you have already posted as status updates, and re-showing photos that I’ve seen on facebook. 


Yeah and you know where you can put that leather bracelet you bought me as a gift...