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7Funny
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February 05, 2015
Published
Description

Life can be tough, make it less tough by learning how to live a fulfilling life.

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You could (be):

  • Curing cancer
  • Finding someone who can cure cancer on the cheap
  • Finding Nemo
  • Finding Neverland
  • Buying a new hat
  • Throwing out things you just bought
  • Concentrating on blinking less
  • Gouging out your own eyes and donating them to science
  • Disproving the existence of god
  • Proving the existence of the Cheerios Bee
  • Eating Cheerios
  • Eating bees
  • Saving the bees
  • Finding out the name of the old Honeycomb mascot
  • Spitting in your hand for a hand shake to make an old timey deal
  • Dealing cards
  • Drug dealing
  • Selling cards like drugs to see how people react
  • Punching your neighbour
  • Kissing your neighbour
  • Listening to Kiss
  • Starting a Kiss cover band called Hugs
  • Deciding not to do covers anymore to take music in your own direction
  • Starting a band called Tell
  • Getting a deal from a record label
  • Touring with the band Kiss
  • Coming up with a catchy name for the tour
  • Kiss and Tell on tour
  • Become a bank teller
  • Become Penn and Teller
  • Become poignant and annoying
  • Marry a sea captain
  • Get a divorce
  • Get a drinking problem
  • Give up on life
  • Get twenty cats
  • Eat cat food
  • Cry because you miss the sea captain
  • Find Forrester
  • Find the person who wrote this list and kill them
  • Bury the body in a shallow unmarked grave
  • Raise them from the dead
  • Raise them as your own
  • Watch them grow up
  • Understand that there are more than 39 things on this list
  • Be disappointed in Internet lists
  • Go attempt your own list
  • Fail horribly at it
  • Learn to respect me more Dad
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