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February 24, 2015
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Nothing says I eats food too!!! like posting a picture of the fancyass stuff you put in your mouth so that your body works good. Look at me, fooding! With my mouth! One step up from a fuckin’ amoeba! Keep the mad jel coming when you post pictures of this delish disaster that you made all by yourdamnself.

Nothing says I eats food too!!! like posting a picture of the fancyass stuff you put in your mouth so that your body works good. Look at me, fooding! With my mouth! One step up from like an amoeba! Your friends’ll be mad jel. Keep the mad jel coming when you post pictures of this delish disaster that you made all by yourdamnself.

Difficulty level: None. So save this one for when you’re high.

Dried Grapefruit and Bacon Puree with a side of Goat and Garlic Muffins

  • One pre-dried grapefruit from the guy who sits out front (At least, I think those are dried grapefruits?)
  • Raw bacon. You’re welcome, raw freaks who keep annoying the shit out of us, wanting a recipe just for you.
  • One goat from the goat pile behind the store
  • Some day-old muffins from the discount bin. We can’t get rid of this shit fast enough.

Puree the raw bacon. Since you hate technological advancements like fire, you should probably use a mortar and pestle so’s that you’re not a hypocrite.

Disassemble goat. Don’t be grossed out. If you want to be grossed out, look at that pigsty you call your basement apartment.

See goat pieces in fancy bowl. Set dried grapefruit on top. Pour bacon puree around it so it can’t escape, like a metaphor for you and your student debt. Adorn with those skankass garlic muffins.

Tag your photos #mistake. Like all your life choices.


Esmerelda Q. Jones, Dirty Hippie Coop
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