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July 13, 2015

Scott Walker announced his candidacy this morning, making him the 15th candidate running for the Republican nomination. At this point, there's a pretty good chance you're running for president, too.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced this morning that he would be running for the GOP presidential nomination.

Walker, who is completing his second term as Governor of Wisconsin, is very popular within the party, but campaign strategists worry he may not have the wherewithal to back up his reputation.

This brings the total number of candidates chasing after the Republican nomination to 15 and five on the Democratic side. This is a lot of people running for president. You may be wondering at this point, who isn’t running for president? More importantly, you have likely asked yourself, “Am I running for president?”

The answer to that is, “Yeah, probably.”

This is a lot to take in, but you’re running for president now because it is mandatory one in every six people run for president. Nine people in this office alone are running. Some of them are excited and some keep double-checking the list the government sent out.

Yeah, the government released a list of people who are running or going to announce that they are running for president. They randomly selected people’s SSN’s who weren’t affected by the security breach and look decent in a suit. It will ultimately save the country time and everyone can just get a head start on their campaign.

So, congrats! This is huge! The first thing you need to decide is what your platform is going to be. Are you pro-guns? Anti-guns? Should unborn babies have guns? What about people on food stamps? Do shitty kids have to go to school?

It’s important to choose a strong and inclusive logo because a lousy one can really throw the campaign off. It’s best to incorporate patriotic colors and to avoid any use of profanity or animals that can be seen as weak and defenseless.

If you need any help or guidance at any point during the race, just log onto Facebook and all the people you’re friends with who have write 14-paragraph-long political rants as their status updates now have monetary backing for their campaign and would love to let you know how you’re doing! Good luck!