Here Cums Mama June June

A sex tape of Honey Boo Boo’s mother, June Shannon, surfaced online today, and it’s just as revolting as you’d imagine.

The filthy footage shows Mama June and the "Redneck Ray J," Larry The Cable Guy, getting down in the soda aisle of a Piggly Wiggly.

The closed-captioned fornication contains sickening sexual scenes depicting Larry sloppily, but sensually, eating ketchup & spaghetti off the many chins of Ms. Shannon, who grumbles in Jabba-esque satisfaction throughout.

Larry confessed there were some embarrassing moments. “Well, when we switched from ‘Wheelbarrow’ to ‘Reverse Hog Style,’ I looked down and realized I’d been Git’n-her-done in her cavernous belly button, not in her ‘bear trap’ like I thought. Boy, was my face red, y’all,” Larry chuckled.

The ever-fertile June is convinced that night of hillbilly passion left her pregnant. Guess we all know what TLC programming is going to look like in nine months.