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Published July 20, 2011

Geneva, Switzerland -- Over the weekend, a living standards conference brought together some of the greatest minds of our time. Among the attendees were prominent economists, psychologists, and hipsters.

While it may seem like these groups have nothing in common, and may even despise one another, they were able to work together congenially for two and a half days. The conference was supposed to be a four day event, but: the hipsters stopped participating because they realized they were actually being constructive; the psychologists diagnosed each other with generalized anxiety disorder and had to go home; and the economists said that the whole conference was grossly inefficient and that from a cost benefit analysis, their time would be better off spent at home debating debates.

The panel discussions varied widely in subject and scope, yielding ideas for policy changes throughout the developed world.

-We need more billboards along highways. A lot more. And we need more with a political or religious slant.

-We need more hipsters. Period. We cannot get enough of this hipster thing.

-We want our elected officials to spend more money with more abandon. The Rule of Law does not apply to these geniuses.

The list of ideas to improve our lives continues. This reporter, for one, would like to delve deeper into this story.