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Published February 14, 2012 More Info »
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Published February 14, 2012

 

Single vs Taken on Valentine’s Day

 

Out of all the holidays, Valentine’s Day seems to be the day that inspires the most rage. No emotion is as strong as love is and a day that is all about love (and Hallmark) is obviously going to inspire strong emotions into people.

The interesting thing about Valentine’s Day is how differently it is celebrated between two segments of society, the single person and the taken person. I have composed a simple list to highlight the differences between how single people and taken people view and celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Enjoy.

Best Friend on Valentine’s Day

Taken Person- The taken persons significant other

Single Person- Jack Daniels

What Hurts the Most on Valentine’s Day

Taken Person- The wallet

Single Person- The soul

Tolerance for Public Displays of Affection

Taken Person- Most likely is engaging in public displays of affection

Single Person- Watching a public display of affection will invoke a murderous rage

Sample Facebook Status

Taken Person- “I love –insert significant other’s name here- . They are the best significant other ever!”

Single Person- “I have a significant other. Its name is Vodka.”

Favorite Memory

Taken Person- Most likely the sex

Single Person- Not likely to have memories

Song of Day

Taken Person- “Let’s Get It On”-Marvin Gaye

Single Person- “Love Stinks”- J. Geils Band

Dietary Choice

Taken Person- Five star cuisine and wine

Single Person- Pizza and tears

Position on Candy Hearts

Taken Person- Enjoys them because of the message they send

Single Person- Actually realizes that they are eating chalk

View on Flowers

Taken Person- “They are wonderful!”

Single Person- “They’re just pretty things that attract dangerous bees.”

Biggest Worry of the Day

Taken Person- “Will my significant other like my gift?”

Single Person- “Will I ever recover from this crippling, crippling loneliness?”

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