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Published August 08, 2010 More Info »
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Published August 08, 2010
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I realized when I began writing that you have to be ready to back up your words. You have to stand behind everything you write. When you write jokes, it’s no different. You have to be careful. Comedy has consequences. But you learn. For instance, I used to make a lot of jokes about big guys with tattoos.

I used to make a lot of jokes about the bouncers at the clubs where I worked. That was a subset of the first group I mentioned. I really should have thought more about it before I started doing stand-up comedy. Maybe you would have known better. Maybe you could have foreseen the outcome. For instance,

I used to make a lot of jokes about girls who came to the show with guys with greasy hair and see-through socks.

I used to make a lot of jokes about Allah. At the falafel hut.

I used to make a lot of jokes about how poorly my wife sucked cock. While she was doing it.

I used to make a lot of jokes about how I lied on my resume. At the company Christmas party.

I used to make a lot of jokes to my kids about fucking my neighbor’s wife.

I used to make a lot of jokes to my coworkers about how my boss’s wife didn’t respect him.

I used to make a lot of jokes to my parents about how small my inheritance would be.

I used to make a lot of jokes about the size of my dick when a girl I wanted to fuck was at the show.

I used to make a lot of jokes about not having any money in front of that same girl.

I used to make a lot of jokes about what a pain in the ass I can be, in front of that same fucking girl.

I used to make a lot of jokes about how funny my first girlfriend acted the morning after her abortion.

I used to make a lot of jokes about the biggest guy on my block.

I used to make a lot of jokes about random psychos in the crowd.

I used to make a lot of jokes about mixed martial artists and their ugly ears.

I used to make a lot of jokes about the cook at my favorite restaurant.

I used to make a lot of jokes about my mechanic.

 

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