YOU DRINK CAPPUCINO INSTEAD OF BEER.
If you cant figure out why the battery on your new bike won't stay charged.
If your trailer has more miles on it than your bike
If your leathers still have creases
If you don't ride your bike to work because it scuffs your penny loafers.
If you move your bike and the grass is brown under the wheels.
If your tatoos wash off.
If you have doubled the weight of your bike with bolt on chrome.
If you have never kick started a bike before.
If you buy bikes as investments.
If you refer to your bike as your "toy".
If you wear a full face helmet
If you wear a helmet
If you wear earplugs
If you really believe that there are bikes that come customized from the factory
If the last time you went to the Harley dealer you came home with golfballs and a toilet seat
If your Harley shirt has a collar
If you don't ride in the rain
If you can't find your oil filter
If you think any motorcycle is too loud
If your poneytail comes off with your cap
If you leave your garagedoor open just so people can see your bike
If you need a biker lingo book
If your a HOG member and think your an outlaw
If you think a wrench is a bitchy woman
If when you buy your bike you start calling everyone "bro"
If you stop 30 miles from Sturgis to unload your bike so you can ride in
If you think the models in the catalogs are what bikers are suppose to look like
If you worry about what bikers are suppose to look like
If you read VQ