Johnny Brennan: “Oh, God! Mother woke me up today. She poured a hot pan of grease all over my chest & ass. I fell down the stairs. My shoes fell off."

Burger Bob Customer: "WHAT?"

Johnny: "I can't see dammit, you sonuvabitch! I'm scarred about the face, chest, neck & shoulders. But I look fine. Makeup conceals everything."


Ernie Lazarro: "He insulted me. He called me, 'fruity ass.'”


Johnny Brennan: “Sweetie cakes? Come here ‘n show me your toolbox. We can go to the bridge. I'll fur you up head first into a sailor dive ‘n I'll join you in the water. I'll rub sea weed all over your ass ‘n neck ‘n shit.”


Jack Tors: "I will move my penis to my ass cause I don't know which way I'm swinging yet.”


Jack Tors: "I heard that they hang you upside down & kick your face out the back of your ass? I also heard there's a little room where they heat up hot bacon grease & fire it all over the face?"


Jack Tors: "I’m constantly slugging my genitals."


Rosine: "I don’t eat lobster. I lick it & then slap it off the table! Do you have a balloon I can touch & lick?"


Frank Rizzo Insults: Sizzlechest. Bottlenose. Picklenose. Nits. Sweet Charlie. Toots. Sweet tits. Smart mouth. Rubberneck. Barrell-ass. Bologna tits. Salami tits. Fruitcake. Liver lips. Chief. Babe. Tough Guy. Jerky. Speed racer. Lefty. Sweetnuts. Flapjack. Happy ass. Butt Nut. Fuck Face. Milky Licker.