New and Improved Chicken Strips

Why is it that nearly every week, fast food chains are introducing NEW and IMPROVED Chicken Strips? What pioneering research has led to these constant advancements in Chicken Strip Technology?

This is concerning to me, as I feel that there is naturally a pretty low ceiling for scientific breakthroughs in the field of Chicken Strips, especially for us to be dedicating so much of our limited time and resources to the cause.

If you read my previous article, you will recognize that this is just one more way our best scientists are being consumed by ever larger, more impressive breasts.