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Published July 08, 2011

Well, the door is now open to Casey Anthony Trial “Media Doll Wanna-bee’s!”

Russell Huekler, teacher from Pinellas County, Florida a STAND-BY juror for the trial has made his way to pretty much every media outlet that will have him, Today Show, GMA, CBS Morning Show, CNN, Sesamee Street....

HE DIDN’T EVEN DELIBERATE!!!!!!!!  And he got a page-and-a-half of Google results.

No confirmation that he will be the new host of the new cable TV show, “The Next Alternate Juror Star!”  However, he IS confirmed to be a guest on Iron Chef and is expected to do a “Throw Down With Bobby Flay” program regarding Cooking-For-One-On-a Hot-Plate Filmed in One of the REAL-LIFE Alternate Juror Hotel Rooms.

Old Russ is gonna have one Helluva GREAT “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” story!!!!  But he’s not a real juror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of things not being real, here’s another NOT-real Little Johnny story.

One year, Little Johnny's family was having a Fourth of July cookout at their home. One of the special treats that year was lighting some illegal fireworks (Roman candles, bottle rockets, missile batteries, etc.)

Just before he was to arrive, Cousin Joe called, saying his neighbors' plans had just fallen through.  Cousin Joe asked if he could bring the neighbors along to the picnic.  Little Johnny’s dad said, "Sure, the more the merrier!"

When Cousin Joe arrived with his neighbors, Little Johnny and his dad found out that the head of the neighbor family was a police officer.

Little Johnny's dad turned, as innocently as he could, to his son and whispered for him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them somewhere quickly. Little Johnny disappeared, and the Little Johnny’s dad changed the topic to food for the day.

The new guests had brought some chicken to grill, so Little Johnny’s dad told them the gas grill was all set to use out back -- they just had to turn on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed.

The neighbor guests, including the police officer, headed out to the back as Little Johnny returned through the front door. Little Johnny’s father hurried to him and said, "Whew, that was close! That man's a police officer, and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?"

Little Johnny said, "Oh, yeah, I hid them in the grill!"

Now THAT is a funny Little Johnny joke but, once again, not real (like Russell Huekler).  And speaking of not real, ranking right-on up there with our dads taking us down to the edge of the river, pointing across and telling us the other side was “Europe,” Micky Carroll’s dad fooled us every Fourth of July in our young, stupid days.

We would get all excited.  Micky’s dad was gonna put on a show for us and, the real kicker, we didn’t have to push our way through any crowds to see the town’s fireworks. 

Just as it got to be dusk, we would beg him, “Can we do them now?  Can we? Can we? Huh?”  He would always quietly settle us down and say, “Soon, very soon!  We can’t use them until it’s really dark!”  The anticipation would KILL us!

Finally, the time would come.  Micky’s dad would tell us to go inside and look out the front porch window.  All of us, Gary Hardballs, Dirty Kurty, Micky, Dickie Dickson would squeeze to the window.  (Micky never had any idea WHY we had to go inside!  But we did.)

And there we all were, ready to go and Micky’s dad would be outside with his ear cups on and all.  Then suddenly, THERE IT WAS!!!!!!!  “Awesome, oooooh, aaahhhhh, wooooooow!”  And then, within a few minutes, it was over.  But we were satiated for another year.

In our later years, we found out that what we were soooooo excited about was a single RAILROAD FLARE that Micky’s dad would bring home from work!!!!  Yeah, once we found THAT out we felt about as STUPID as a no-armed 18-year-old boy in a 25-cent porn movie booth!!!!

 

Check out ALL Little Johnny (all grown up) stories on www.IamLittleJohnny.com

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