this one isn't going to be funny. the unthinkable has happened. the sky is falling. hell freezeth over. the world is coming to an end.
this just in...Bret Favre, America's Quarterback, has retired. as i join the rest of Packer Nation in preparing myself for the ritual suicide i can't help but wonder; will breT fAvRe still be revered as he is now across the country after today? after the millions of packer fans across the nation, nay across the world, open their bowels in grizzly, mass Hari Kari, laying waste to most of the midwest! (luckily this won't hurt the economy too much as wisconsin is no longer depended on by this nation for dairy, that role is shared by new york and california, and the major economic centers of that area, chicago, detroit, minneapolis, will actually begin to flourish as their respective teams rise from the oppressive shadow that was BRET FAVRE) WHO WILL CLEAN UP THIS MESS!
the packers insist that aaron rodgers is the man, but i don't respect him enough to capitalize ANY letters in his name...but that doesn't really matter now as i'm off to slit open my belly and let my intestines fall to the floor. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD and SUCK MY BALLS!