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December 18, 2016

Sung to the tune of Baby, It's Cold Outside

(to the tune of Baby It’s Cold Outside)

Baby, I Hacked the Election

Putin (Trump)
I really can’t say. (Did you hack the election?)
I do things my way. (You didn’t answer the question?)
The results are all in. (I don’t trust your grin.)
Much to my lik-ing. (It was kind of striking.)

We made a fair deal. (The press calls it a “steal.”)
And I held up my end. (You’ve always been a close friend.)
Oh the things we can do. (And the power we can accrue.)
We can rule it all. (And make off with quite a haul.)

So what do you say? (But what about the CIA?)
It’s all within reach. (But what if they impeach?)
I do what I want. (Don’t you remember Détente?)
My enemies disappear. (That’s…what I hear.)

I’m a very manly brute. (I wear this businessman’s suit.)
I show my bare back. (Let’s get back to the hack.)
But I have a soft side. (I’m beginning to backslide.)
And I sing like Bing Crosby. (I’m more like Bill Cosby.)

This was all so delicious. (The U.S. press is suspicious.)
You’re not superstitious? (Election tampering’s seditious.)
This isn’t a rejection? (No, you’ve got my affection.)
Oh baby we’ve stolen the election!