Glee star Heather Morris recently joined Christina Hendricks and Olivia Munn as the latest to allegedly have their cell phones hacked, unleashing nude photos into the world. The three newcomers join the ranks of everyone from Scarlett Johanssen to Anthony Weiner. You're doing it, guys!!!!!
With that in mind, here are some helpful reminders to celebrities who intend on photographing themselves and sending them to their boyfriends, girlfriends, twitter followers, mistresses, etc.
- Nobody will ever see these, other than the person you intend to send them to.
- This is a great idea.
- Seriously, really fantastic idea that will in no way be regretted.
- Include no more than two-thirds of your face when snapping the picture. This will create an allure to the person you're sending them to. "Is that my significant other? I think so, who else would be sending me these pictures that are for my eyes only?"
- No need for makeup or flattering angles as, again, the only person to see these will be your serious boyfriend/girlfriend who has seen you at your best but also at your worst. It's called intimacy.
- Really feel good about the decision you're making. You got to the top with great decision-making, why stop now?
- Phone hacking is a creation of the lame stream media and does not happen in real life. And if it does, which it certainly doesn't, it will never happen to you.
- Send them with complete confidence that these will only be seen and enjoyed by two people.
- No need to delete them after they've been sent. It's in everyone's best interest that you keep them on your phone's hard drive for future use.
Soak in how good you feel about your idea to follow through on this. You almost didn't take sort-of-flattering pictures of your naked body! What a fool you almost were!