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May 23, 2017
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Get your large mammal abuse fix at SeaWorld instead!

Now that Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus has shut down after 146 years, both audiences and performers are going to have a lot more time on their hands. Here are plenty of options for filling the void in your life.


Take shrooms at the zoo

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Abandon your kids in a regular tent

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Protect children from all those unemployed clowns

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Get your large mammal abuse fix at SeaWorld instead

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Buy their domain name and turn it into a porn site

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Throw peanut shells at people on the street instead of people at the circus

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Go back to meeting little people for casual sex the old fashioned way (at carnivals)

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Enlist in the military as a human cannonball

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Take a road trip in a tiny car with 40 of your closest friends.

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[sigh] Get into sports…

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