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Hello America, Laszlo Bass of Rankin/Bass here, creaters of claymation Christmas classics like Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town. I just finished my NYU Film School masters dissertation on "Proletariat Themes of Class Warfare in It’s A Wonderful Life", and am finally returning to the artistic, rich medium of claymation with new ideas. Prepare yourselves, for a new crop of landmark claymation!

 

Our first new special is THE CHRISTMAS REAPING! You all love your Christmas trees, but I wanted to show people the greedy underbelly of the “Big Evergreen” industry, and how it rapes the world's forest population.

Hopefully after watching this, some of you will reconsider and buy your trees from the list of approved tree farms we list after the credits.

Unless you’re some kind of middle American bumpkin, you’ve obviously heard of Krampus, the traditional, Eastern European christmas demon who steals naughty children to devour.

Well, in SHADOW OF THE KRAMPUS, I wanted to examine that character and delve past the monster, in order to see what made Krampus become that devourer of children.

Maybe we’ll even learn that the only true christmas monsters are ourselves?


Honestly, this next one was a concession to CBS executives, who wanted a big celebrity special; the height of banality. But then I thought, what if we use this as an opportunity for some Agit-Prop cinema, in an effort to tear down the imagined barriers between two groups of people. So, I present to you...

...OY TO THE WORLD: A VERY HANUKKAH CHRISTMAS CONCERT! A Christmas carol concert featuring the voices of Joan Rivers, Mel Brooks, Bette Midler, and Leonard Nimoy!

I met a young conservative in New York, Glenn Beck, who had a Christmas story called The Christmas Sweater. I quickly snapped up the rights to the story, in order to appropriate it for this next special...

...YARNY THE CHRISTMAS SWEATER, wherein Yarny The Christmas Sweater wrongheadedly fights against “The War On Christmas” with his "Yuletide Spice" Spray. Eventually, Yarny learns the true meaning of the season; respect for protesters rights!


When I first saw Kubrick's masterpiece, 2001: A Space Odyssey, it only led to more questions, namely about what Christmas was like in space. I humbly decided to follow up the master with...

...THE FIRST GINGERBREAD MAN ON THE MOON. Would man, gingerbread or otherwise, even be able to comprehend the holiday, without the winter solstice? Watch as Gingy, the Gingerbread Man (who of course represents ALL men) comes face to face with these questions, a sentient, red Christmas ornament...

...and experiences a psychedelic Christmas beyond infinity, that just may break his ginger mind!

 

Finally, my masterpiece. I spent a semester abroad in the Netherlands, and my Dutch friend Klauss (who does amazing time-lapse films about the plains of Madagascar) told me about the Netherlands' traditional Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet characters. I wanted to be able to bring them to America, without being watered down by the tyranny of political correctness, so I turned to the only cinematic style truly suited to a timeless Christmas fable: German expressionism. I give you...

...SINTERKLAAS UND EIN SLAVEN! Sinterklaas goes on an epic quest to enslave the black devil, Zwarte Piet or Black Pete, to make him help pass out presents. And I'd just like to say, if your American sensibilities are calling this "racist", then that just says more about your racism towards the Dutch, than it does about their ancient holiday traditions.

So you’re welcome, America, for a higher caliber of Christmas special. Good night, and support your local art house theatre!

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