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Published May 20, 2009 More Info »
35 Funny Votes
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Published May 20, 2009
So we were contacted by American Idol about Ferrell doing something on the season finale tonight. We wrote a song and they said yes. Then I think they took a beat and actually read what we wanted to do and the plug was pulled. But we got pretty far down the road. Jon Brion had written some gorgeous music and up until last night Ferrell was ready to do it..... Oh well.  Here's the first draft we sent in. And it should be said, no hard feelings towards the producers of the show. They were perfectly decent. But man would this have been fun to see on that show. -McKaySEACREST As you all know when tonight's winner is chosen they will sing an original song written and orchestrated specifically for that magical moment.  However starting next year every winner will sing one song which we will premiere tonight. The song was written by Bob Dylan, Bernia Taupin and poet laureate Maya Angelou and orchestrated by John Williams. Here now to give us a preview of the new American Idol finale song is 12 time Grammy award winner and former bass player for the Doobie Brothers, Will Ferrell! MUSIC: GENTLE PIANO LEADS US BY THE HAND INTO THE SONG(WILL FERRELL walks on stage in a white flowing shirt and pants with white moccasins on. The VT overhead shows clouds against a blue sky.) FERRELLIMAGINE IF YOU WILL A DOLPHINWEARING A TINY COWBOY HATTHEN THAT SAME DOLPHIN GIVES BIRTHTO A SOLID DIAMOND BABY... THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER!!!MAKES SUSAN BOYLE SEEM LIKE CHERTHIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER!!IT CAN MAKE AN EAGLE MAKE LOVE TO A BEAR!!! (Reveal a choir of literally a thousand people. We can use seat filling cardboard cut outs if need be. But it should be absolutely gigantic.)THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER PAULA, THIS AINT LIP SYNCING, IT'S REAL!!THIS SONG IS BETTER THAN ALL CHRISTMAS CAROLS COMBINEDLIKE FINDING A NAKED LADY, IN YOUR HAPPY MEAL!!! TALK PART: You know when I first read this song I asked "Did Dylan, Taupin and Angelou really write this." And they said sort of. And I said what does that mean? And then they ran away. But after five bottles of wine I knew who the real writer of this song was..... the big man himself, God Almighty. A THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOWTHIS SONG WILL BE STILL BE SUNGEVEN IF PEOPLE NO LONGER HAVE MOUTHSTHIS SONG COST NINE POINT EIGHT MILLION DOLLARSBUT WE COULD NOT FIND A WORD THAT RYHMES WITH MOUTHWILL: IF JESUS WERE TO SING THIS SONGON A MOUNTAIN OF PUPPIES IN A LAND OF OLDIT WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFULTHAT ACCOUNTANTS EVERYWHERE WOULD PISS GOLD!!! THE END!!!!WILL: Between me and you Ryan, this song is terrible.SEACREST: Your mic is on.WILL: Oh.... Good night Burbank!!!!!!