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November 07, 2012

Tips to help you get though the next couple of days

Things to do Post-Election
Joshua Proctor


 Here are some Do's and Don'ts to help you after the election.

If your guy won: Try not to act like your favorite team just won the Superbowl.
If your guy lost: Deny that you said all the things you said for the past 2 years
If your guy won: Wake-up feeling great about getting that Obama tattoo last night
If your guy lost: Feel great that somewhere in a poor country their kids now have a overstock of Romney Ryan 12 t-shirts
If your guy won: Remind people that you are great at picking winners. Bet it all on the Jets this weekend
If your guy lost: Remind people that Romney came in second and not last. "How about that Ron Paul guy? Romney killed him! How embarrassing!"
If your guy won: Be sure to call people that voted for Romney are racists and gay haters
If your guy lost: Say that how shocked you were about how many black fearing,queer loving,pot smoking hipsters came out and voted after being up so late the night before watching Adult Swim
If your guy won: Go crazy for the next 2 days before going back to not knowing anything about everything you just voted for
If your guy lost: Make sure to point out everything that goes wrong in the next few months. " The Eagles didn't make the Playoffs?! Thanks Obama!"
If your guy won: Say how Romney ran a great campaign and wish him luck
If your guy lost: Say Obama cheated and pray for his Koran loving ass to burn in hell or where ever those people go.
If your guy won: Continue to be a asshole
If your guy lost: Continue to be a asshole

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