This week, the NFL upheld the suspension of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for four games in the wake of accusations he was aware of the team’s deflation of footballs. The decision largely hinged on the revelation that Brady destroyed his cell phone before meeting with investigators — something Brady claims he does with all his cell phones. Here’s a timeline of all the phones from Brady’s life and how they met their untimely demise:

  • Cuts string connecting two tin cans after telling friend he plans to cheat in touch football game later that day.

  • Family's first cordless phone found in dryer after Brady worried he'd get in trouble for calling the Nintendo Power Cheat Code 900 number.

  • Accidentally breaks Sports Illustrated football phone after thinking it was a real football and trying to deflate it.

  • Nokia phone conveniently breaks just as he's about to prove the existence of his model girlfriend "from out of town — you guys don't know her."

  • Tosses his beeper out the window after repeatedly paging 800813S (BOOBIES) to a geology professor at Michigan.

  • Texts friend: "Mom being a bitch and says I need to stop breaking phones or else she's gonna stop replacing them" but then gets nervous she's gonna find out he swore and runs it over with his car.

  • Hungry and drunk after winning the Super Bowl, Brady pours hot sauce on his phone and eats it in two huge bites.

  • Accidentally jumps into pool wearing pants made of Motorola Razrs.

  • An embarrassed Brady's phone goes off in a movie theater and he punishes it by melting it with a magnifying glass.

  • Didn't have a phone for a while. Only communicated by the radio in his helmet.

  • Texts the N-word once on a new iPhone 4S, smashes it, repeats 300 times

  • Tosses an early Apple Watch prototype into the Atlantic after using it to text Aaron Hernandez: "sumtimes i wish we cud trade plases."