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October 02, 2013

Out of ideas? Here are some suggestions!



  1. Chips & Guacamole: Tape bag of tortilla chips to forehead and fill briefcase with guac. (Green Morphsuit optional)
  2.  Guitar Guy That Nobody Likes: Have a guitar on your person at all times. Play mediocre riffs and interupt every conversation you can. People will compliment your playing and say things like "Dave, you moron, could you please stop"
  3. iOS7: Warn everyone at party that you're going to leave in 20 minutes. Leave in 2.
  4. United States Government: No costume required. Simply collect money from everyone and enjoy your furlough!
  5. Superman: Red cape, blue Morphsuit, laser vision.
  6. Sue-Superman: Staple attorney to your side and glue the charges you're pressing to your scrotum. Then, Knee Superman in the groin. Repeat until satisfied.
  7. Florida: Wear judge's robes and carry a gavel. When people ask you what they're for, tell them that you honestly don't know. (be sure to stand your ground if they argue)
  8. The Internet: Wrap ethernet cable around dick, speak only in #hashtags (until you hate yourself more than other people do)
  9. Netflix: Attach a red bedsheet to your torso and tell people that you're buffering. Also, recommend Futurama to anyone who looks bored.
  10. Coke: Duct tape 20 cans of Coke to your arms and legs
  11. Diet Coke: Duct tape 15 cans of Coke to your arms and legs
  12. Diet Cocaine: Score a shitload of diet cocaine (contains aspartame) and freak the fuck out during the middle of the party
  13. Breaking Bad: Please don't.
  14. College Debt: Show up to party in the most elaborate outfit you can't afford. Use iPhone excessively. Tweet excessively about your problems.
  15. A Ghost: Hide in the corner and eavesdrop on everyone's conversations. Also tap their- wait did I say ghost? I meant NSA.
  16. Stair-Camel: Strap portable staircase to front of body. Place camel so that its humps fit between each step. If done correctly, this should resemble a large triangle with legs.
  17. Income Tax: Don't prepare a costume. You don't have the time or money. Instead, take a piece from every other person's costume at the party.
  18. Podcast: Tell everyone about your podcast. After you've told everyone a few times, tell them again. Tell them that the next episode is going to be a "must listen". Oh, and your costume is whatever you can find in the cardboard boxes in your parents basement.
  19. Look At That Hipster: Point out everyone who dresses better than you and everyone who talks about things that aren't "popular". Call them a hipster and be sure to act slightly annoyed.
  20. Miley Cyrus: Wear a giant foam hand. If worn right, it will cause just the right amount of Video Music Awards PTSD