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Published August 03, 2009
     My fellow Americans and illegal immigrants alike, we can reduce our dependence on foreign oil and take back America at the same time. The fact that gas costs nearly $3.00 a gallon, is simply unacceptable. I have good news America! We can survive the economic collapse but we must stay the course and buy a horse! 
     With the horse you can go green, and brown, at the same time. I’m convinced I could make better time, riding a horse down to LA, then driving my car. It takes me 2.5 hours in traffic to go 20 miles in a car. I think I could shave an hour off my commute on horseback. I plan to utilize the carpool lane just like the motorcyclists do and weave right in and out of the traffic. Plus, horse transportation would qualify for the fossil fuel reduction, reduced carbon footprint tax credit. Because the horse has a naturally low emissions rating and can pass smogIt has virtually no parts and labor, besides an occasional 2 pair of shoes.
     Think of the customization options with a horse. You can forget about having to worry about whether you can afford to buy the “clear coat” for your car. With the horse, you have a choice between a brown coat, white coat, black coat, tan coat or even a spotted coat. Now, once my "Horse Initiate" takes off, I’ll going straight to the Small Business Administration to get for a loan to start Pimp My Pony Productions, which will make an entire line of designer saddlebags and horse shoes.
     Plus, I have designed custom grills for the horse. There’s the platinum grill with diamonds, and if money is tight, we can start with just gold capping the horse's teeth and mix it up with some well placed rhinestones. In my business plan for Pimp My Pony Productions, there will also be a full-scale mane salon, where you can choose from the following stylish options; Dreadlock mane, fro-mane, cornrow mane, Mohawk mane, the bleach blonde mane, the military mane, butch mane, Brazilian mane, no mane and if we mess it up, there will also be mane extensions.
     And for the Player who has everything (you know who you are Player), we will have something extra special just for you. We will also have a full line of Rocking Horsey Wear. So, if you like the Lakers, so can your horse because for the first time ever, Kobe Bryant's jersey will be made available so your horse can represent too, in size "Huffed Beast." Going to a movie premiere, I may suggest our Black-tie Tuxedo, the Giorgio-O-Horsey and ladies, your horse comes complete with Yoga attire and mat, at no additional charge.
     Plus, who is the horse’s competition? Mercedes? Mercedes, claims their new E series can stop itself to prevent accidents, starting at $50,000.00! Well a horse has been able to stop itself since the beginning of time, plus it can also decide to just jump over the accident, if it wants too. Let me give you some truth in advertising. The horse has a 30 year lifespan and if you buy 2 today, they will reproduce a whole fleet of transportation, also called a herd.
      The way I see it, the horse’s only real competition, will be the hybrids. They include, the Zebra, Donkey, Jackass, Pony, the mini-pony, the trick pony, the lifted pony, the low-rider, the slow-rider for the elderly, and finally for the families, there's the always dependable pack-mule. As a final promotion and shameless plug for the horse, there are 8,000 banks in this country, 1,000 of which are expected to fail by the end of this year. If you think a bank is going lend you another penny, YOUR CRAZYAmerica, you have a choice in this Financial Collapse, Stay The Course and Buy A Horse!


Mess with me and you mess with the whole RV Park!
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