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Published June 23, 2010

THE CRACKERS



Hey, hey, hey....it's THE CRACKERS !!!  Yes, THE CRACKERS.  After a 30 year hiatus due to arthritis, back problems, drug, alcohol and sex addiction, divorce and sleeping, The Crackers have decided to regroup and hit the road.

The band you loved to hate and hated to love will be back on stage with all their classic hits and new songs from their upcoming CD "We Ain't Dead Yet....But We Have The Funeral Home On Speed Dial"



Do you remember these classics...

"Ain't Nuttin' But A Pee Thang"
"Who Took My Teeth Out"
"She Don't Lie, She Don't Lie, She Don't Lie.....VIAGRA"
"Blowing Chunks"
"Don't Bogart That Joint"
"Dude, Where's My Medicare Card?"
"And She's Buying Me An Escalator To Hell"
"Suck This....If You Can Find It"
"My Wife Left Me For Dead"
"What Gonads?"



The band that opened up for the likes of BEETHOVEN, CALVIN COOLIDGE, MOTHER TERESA and the SEX PISTOLS will bring their brand of rock and roll, reggae, disco, pop, hard core and hip hop to a city near you.




THE REVIEWS ARE IN...

ROLLING BONE MAGAZINE says, "The concert was so slow that rigamortis started to set in on my date."

BILLBORED MAGAZINE says, "This band is the greatest!  During their encore, two members had to be rushed to the hospital and a third shit his pants.  That alone was worth the price of admission!"

TIMED MAGAZINE says, "Who in the hell are The Crackers?"




The Crackers next concert will be this Saturday at...


"THE GRIM REAPER NURSING HOME AND CREMATORY" @ 2:00 P.M.


NOTE: There will be a 45 minute nap between the first and second sets.


WARNING:  All oxygen tanks, hearing aids and diapers will be checked at the door for weapons and contraband.




So, if there's only one concert you plan on attending this summer, see THE CRACKERS.  You won't be disappointed.  Well, maybe slightly to probably disappointed.















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