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February 28, 2017
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We'd never run and hide from that jawline, Daddy!

This is Frank Clancy.

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He lives in Pembroke, Massachusetts with his wife Emily and their two children Ashley, 6, and Connor, 4.

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Frank says that he’s had a beard since college, but after he lost a bet over who would win the Grammy for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, his buddy made him part ways with the ol’ face Brillo.

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Umm, it looks like we’re all winners here, Frank. Check out the stud that was hiding underneath all of that scruff!

Frank looks like a brand new man. And to his kids, he is brand new man. Ashley and Connor don’t recognize their father at all and are scared to death of the stranger that lives in their house.

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Now that’s what we call a makeover!

So how is Frank enjoying his new life on the “razor’s edge?”

Emily says that she can’t help but plant a few extra smooches on her new hairless hubby now that she doesn’t doesn’t have to worry about getting a mouth full of whiskers.

And it sounds like Frank could use the TLC, because whenever he gets anywhere near his kids, they scream and hide underneath the car in the garage.

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Don’t worry, Frank. If we saw that jawline, we’d come running!

Frank also says that he feels more confident at work now that he’s no long hiding behind his “mustache mask.” He’s even thinking about asking his boss for a raise. Talk about closing the “shave” gap!

But not everyone in the Clancy clan is performing at their best. Ashley’s teachers say that she seems anxious, withdrawn, and upset. She has started getting violent with other students and for a homework assignment to write about anywhere in the world she’d like to visit, all she handed in was this…

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We’ve been bad too, Frank. Maybe you and that chin should take us to detention…

But the best part of going from furry to fuckable, according to Frank? Eating! Now he doesn’t have to worry about getting pork chops in his mutton chops or pig cheek in his cheek wig.

Don’t worry about missing out on the leftovers, Frank. If you ever get hungry, we’ve got something you can eat!

Speaking of “fed, it sounds like lil’ Connor is getting pretty “fed up” with Frank’s new look because last night, Frank woke up to his son, confused and frightened, pressing a butter knife into Frank’s throat.

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Hey, Connor! Don’t scratch the merchandise, ya little freak!

Congrats on the new look, Frank! Your kids may not like their “new Daddy,” but we’d give an arm and a leg to be their new Mommy!

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