Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?
Lazy People Fact #5812672793
You were too lazy to read that number.
Boy: “Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long.”
Girl: “Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won’t get it.”
What did the elephant say to a naked man?
Hey that’s cute but can you breath through it?
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Say what you want about deaf people
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, except when you’re at a funeral.
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won. I replied, “Yeah, man, you’re free.”
I organized a threesome last night. There were a few no-shows, but I still had fun.