WOW. Who would of thought condoms were meant for sex?! Last night, I found out. It felt GREAT! Anyway, condoms have been laying around my house since I was a baby and I guess I’ve been using them differently from everyone else. Here are seven things I have always used those little latex buddies for.
Nothing is much worse than a bruised banana. Cover it with one of the hundreds of condoms you have laying around.
Awesome! Who doesn’t LOVE a cold beer, but nobody likes cold and clammy hands. Roll a condom over the can!
Winter is comin’ up and your pet snake needs a way to stay warm. Do the right thing as a pet owner here. Give that guy a coat!
You can fit up to $13 dollars in coins in a condom, go figure!
Heterosexual Sex (ONLY)
Ah, sex. Putting a condom on your peep makes sex feel worse but ensures 100% you don’t get a baby.WARNING: for straight sex ONLY. Gay sex is gross and wrong and I bet doesn’t feel good. Stop ruining marriage, gays. Gross. “Calling something marriage does not make it marriage. Marriage has always been a covenant between a man and a woman which is by its nature ordered toward the procreation and education of children and the unity and wellbeing of the spouses.”
Yeah, I’m a gun owner too.
Have you ever been caught reading your favorite book and realize it’s 8 o'clock? Put a condom in between the pages to save your spot. Time to watch ‘Huckabee!’
Haha! Face it, condoms are fun to just play with too.
Sex was great. I love it now. Sex with a condom is great. But condoms are not one dimensional, as you now know.
P.S. If anyone wants to have sex with me and a condom, contact me. Only straight.