Our beautiful daughter, Jennifer, is now two years old, loves eating red grapes and wearing bows in her hair, and has been using the word “murder” in front of anyone who will listen. Oh, isn’t she just a hoot, haha! And get this, it’s gotten to the point where we could potentially get arrested! Crazy right???
It first started after the night we were, uh, “working late”, when my husband Jim and I were discussing the aftermath of our, um, “job” at the breakfast table. She must’ve overheard it—from the TV of course, certainly not us, ha!—because ever since then she’s been repeating it to everyone she knows! What an adorable little prankster she is!!
I laugh it off whenever Jennifer says “murder” to our babysitter Candace from across the street, or when she loudly yells it in the middle of block parties. It’s just so funny, because murdering is never something my husband and I talk about, or commit, that’s for sure! Like, what is she, a little stand-up comedian? Someone call the comedy club! Hahaha!!
I’ve now been contacted a few times by distressed neighbors and preschool teachers, who are wondering where she would’ve picked up this habit, and if they should report us to the authorities. But I just tell them not to worry, it’s just part of growing up! I mean, I remember when I went through a “saying the word ‘murder’” phase, don’t you? Haha, I kid, I kid!
I mean, it’s not like anyone will ever be able to find out anything truly incriminating about us from our baby daughter, right? They especially couldn’t find out that technically we were “responsible” for the “death” of my old English professor Mr. Travis Banks, and that my husband is considering “filing for divorce” because he can’t live with the guilt. But no one would believe a two year old would they, hahaha!!
Just in case her behavior continues, I’ve sent little Jennifer off to go live with her Aunt Justine for a few weeks. Hopefully while there, she is able to learn that talking about mommy’s hobbies in front of potential witnesses is a no no. Phew, kids can be such a handful sometimes!