These tweets can definitely teach you a thing or two about being cheeky.
Two things I learned at work this week: don't photocopy your butt on company time and definitely don't use the document feeder to do it— Frightening Username (@ElleOhHell) September 25, 2016
ME: I'd like to try some butt stuff— (((Michael))) (@Home_Halfway) April 29, 2016
DELI EMPLOYEE: What the fuck man
WIFE: Ugh. He means he wants a rump roast
ME: You ruin everything honey
My favorite kind of butt stuff is sitting— Matt Shirley (@mattsurely) April 25, 2016
Venn diagrams kinda look like someone spreading their butt cheeks. I'm an adult. pic.twitter.com/91T4yOIFlo— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) August 14, 2016
Gotham reporter: so does the batsuit have a butt flap so you can make poopies or-— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) March 9, 2016
Batman: [chuckles] haha no I wear a diaper
Our generation coined the terms "booty call" and "butt dial" and they somehow don't mean the same thing.— Jesse Neil (@JTrainNeil) May 3, 2016
ME: It's weird when you use the bathroom right after someone else and the toilet seat is still warm from their gross butt.— pat tobin (@tastefactory) June 24, 2016
BODY IN CASKET:
The most expensive thing I own is my dog's butt hole.— Aidy Bryant (@aidybryant) July 13, 2016
[on a porn shoot]— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 3, 2016
DIRECTOR: derek can we get some more light on his butt hole
LIGHTING GUY: *mumbling* stupid juilliard degree
LIFE HACK: eat toilet paper after every meal so your butt hole wipes itself when you crap— ruined pumpkin (@ruinedpicnic) April 23, 2016
If you fart on a motorboat your buttcheeks stand still.— JasonLastname (@JasonLastname) August 28, 2016
I just said to my boyfriend, "Call me a butt, because I'm WIPED!" which is a great joke except for the part where I ask to be called a butt— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) May 19, 2016
[first ever chickens]— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) June 9, 2016
CHICKEN 1: Should I cross the road?
CHICKEN 2: Did you see what just fell out of my butt?
Drake is the only rapper in history to be so insanely successful & popular, but still this happy when he sees a butt pic.twitter.com/KDTKU46iMY— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) July 30, 2016
— spaceghoul (@iamspacegirl) February 29, 2016
Romeo: But, soft!
Juliet: lol butt.
Juliet: soft butts
*they die laughing*
Guys...David Blaine physically just walked right out of my butt. He wasn't even doing a magic trick. He just lives there.— Flute God (@Karate_Horse) March 15, 2016
Here is a photo of a giant iPhone sneaking up and shooting a huge blowdart into a man's butt. pic.twitter.com/d0BgJlwynT— Alex Fernie (@FernieCommaAlex) September 7, 2016
BF: Ok remember how I said I butt dialed you? My phone was actually in my front pocket, it was my thigh! Okay you go.— Brett Druck (@BrettDruck) August 31, 2016
GF: I slept with Dave.
[extremely loud and concerned stage whisper] YOUR LOGO LOOKS LIKE A ASS ON A WALK pic.twitter.com/braX9WMbpZ— Face Thorpe (@Arr) September 28, 2016
I don’t like instruments that use the same science as butts to make their noise.— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) August 26, 2016
It's weird that we refer to a woman's butt as her "can" & a woman's breasts as "cans" but we refer to paying her an equal wage as a "can't"— Tig Notaro (@TigNotaro) March 25, 2016
Work hard, be kind, and great things will happen. Also, eat a little butt. Butt may be the most important, actually. Shoulda led with butt.— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) June 9, 2016
please do not put giant cigarettes into people's butts while they are changing a baby pic.twitter.com/lXWbzDsfBM— Myq Kaplan (@myqkaplan) March 25, 2016
in this time of intolerance and divisiveness, one thing to remember is that we all have butts and they're all pretty funny— Avery Monsen (@averymonsen) August 15, 2016