If you’re like us, you’re always looking for ways to cut back on spending and save a little dough. Here’s a few of our favorite tips for saving money:
When you get the bill at a restaurant, write a negative amount in for the tip.
Stop buying vowels!
You must first save yourself.
Make your own, shittier, coffee.
Only spend your decoy money.
Buy a wallet that looks dumb empty.
Save money on therapy by taking your problems out on everyone around you.
Make a swear jar and then pay a child to constantly shout “Rats!” into it.
Hire a woman.
Steal everyone’s lunch at work.
Instead of going out to dinner, fight with your spouse at home.
Stop running for president.