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January 08, 2017
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It's everything you've ever wanted from your favorite New Jersey governor and your favorite iPhone app!

Several months ago, it was reported that Chris Christie was seen meandering around Hoboken with his phone directly in front of his face. At first people thought he was merely following the directions on Google Maps to the nearest McDonald’s to pick up lunch for his friend Donnie, but now it seems that another theory has been confirmed. As President-Elect Trump’s right hand servant, Mr. Trump has started making Mr. Christie, the 54 year old New Jersey governor, dress up like a pokeball and jump out the car when he is with Mr. Trump and go chasing after squirrels, chipmunks, mice, and other small animals. Mr. Trump, a self proclaimed yuuuge Pokemon Go fan, has cranked it up a notch with this new game which he playfully calls “HEY CHRIS GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR AND GO CHASE THAT RABBIT!” For those unfamiliar with the game, it’s a way for people in their 20’s and 30’s to pretend like they are 11 years old again and go hunting at all hours of the day and night for computerized “pokemons” which show up on their phones. Again possible proof as to why the 70 year old and 54 year old find the live-action version of the game so invigorating. It’s a bold fashion statement for Mr. Christie, and an even bolder way to achieve “respect” from our nation’s highest ranking official from a man who holds the highest ranking political office in New Jersey. But hey, maybe he’s just trying to burn a few bridges with the locals. Who’s to say? Here’s hoping the two gents find that ever-elusive red squirrel that only pops up during Governor Christies nap time! Godspeed.

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