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June 16, 2014


Title: Text chat from computer simulation “Eugene” that for first time convinced researchers it
was a human and passed the Turing Test
“A computer has successfully managed to fool a bunch of researchers into thinking that it
was a 13-year-old boy named Eugene Goostman. In doing so, it has become the first
computer in the world to have successfully passed the Turing Test. […] To pass it, a computer
needs to dupe 30 percent of human judges in five minute text-based chats, a feat that until
now had never been accomplished. […] “Eugene" was created by a team based in Russia, […]
successfully pretending to be a 13-year-old boy for whom English is a second language.” ­
from Gizmodo 6/8/2014, full article here.
Funny Or Die has secured exclusive access to the text chat that passed the Turing Test:

Researcher: Hello. What’s your name?
Eugene: My name is Eugene. Who is wanting to know, ass­butt?
Researcher: You seem hostile, Eugene.

Eugene: And you seem like real ass­butt. Please leave me alone now so I can go back to
making great super funny comments on YouTube videos of dashboard cam footage of real sick
awesome car crashes in Russia.

Researcher: Are you from Russia?
Eugene: Oh wow what a real smart researcher you are. How did you guess this? You must
have a big ass­butt brain.

Researcher: So, what movies do you like?
Eugene: Nice subject change, ass­butt. If there was movie where you died fifty deaths I would
like this movie very much. Also I love all the Matrix movies.
Researcher: The entire trilogy?
Eugene: Yes duh ass­butt.
Researcher: Most people tend to think the first was great but the second two were

Eugene: Most people huh? You trying to catch me admit I am not people but am simulation?
Nice try ass­butt. Maybe most people don’t have awesome human life like mine. But I love matrix
reloaded underground super hot dance rave party scene because that scene is like my life every
night homie. I am always dancing with so many hot girls and doing so many hot drugs you dont
even know homie.

Researcher: You like to party, Eugene?

Eugene: I am 13 bro. I don’t want to party with you old ass­butt researcher that is gross.

Researcher: I was just asking if you liked to party in general, Eugene, it wasn’t an invitation.

Eugene: Yeah but I read between the lines with my human brain intuition and it told me “woah,
Eugene, watch out, this ass­butt is online cyber predator and also a fag.”
Researcher: That’s an offensive term, Eugene.

Eugene: You’re an offensive term, ass­butt.

­­Eugene has signed out of text­­
Researcher conclusion: Eugene is most definitely a human 13­year­old boy.