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January 14, 2015
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Chris Hemsworth shows his cum shot skills

Last night, hot Aussie actor, Chris Hemsworth, was on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to promote his upcoming movie Black Hat, about a convict who hunts a cybercrime network. But he was also there to show the crowd how good he is with cum shots.

“We thought it was important that Chris not only plug his big Hollywood movie,” explained a rep for the huge star, “but also his immense skill of getting cum blown all over his body. The Tonight Show felt like a fun way to showcase that.”

A few hours before the taping, Chris Hemsworth the-stud-himself reached out to Fallon’s producers to see if his cum shot exhibition would be feasible in Studio 6B. When contacted, one producer said,“After a long discussion about where to source enough cum to really do this right, Chris actually had a great idea. He said, ‘Why don’t we just use water, instead of cum, but I’ll still act like it’s a bunch of cum squirting on my chest?’ It was a great fix, since water is somewhat easier to get than cum.” Then it was pretty easy to just step aside and let Chris Hemsworth display his awesomeness when being used as a canvas for beautiful, sticky strokes of cum.

When it was time to tape in front of the audience, god-like man Hemsworth sat on the couch and talked a little bit about his role in Black Hat, the big-time Michael Mann film, but then came the piece de la résistance: the cum shot. “I was nervous because I knew people wouldn’t necessarily be expecting it,” sizzled Hemsworth through his stubbly jaw. “Most people see me as an amazing action movie star, so it’s surprising that I have this sort of hidden talent of taking a bath in a spraying shower of hot cum. I was a little rusty at first – I don’t get a lot of time to practice catching exploding cum bombs when I’m working on a film - but I think once I got going the audience was like, ‘Okay, this guy knows what he’s doing. Here’s a guy who actually knows how to take a fat, splashy cum balloon.’ I think that was super fun for them.”

As usual, Fallon got in on the mischief, too, smiling and giggling as he simulated launching wet ropes of viscous cum onto Hemsworth’s rippling torso. “Everybody was having a great time,” said head writer A.D. Miles, about the Big Bang-like cum-expansion that formed a milky way on the actor’s nipples. “It’s really cool when celebrities come on and get to show another side of themselves that maybe people aren’t familiar with. Whether it’s playing a musical instrument or being really good at impressions, or like today, when Chris Hemsworth got to show us what it would look like if he got pounded with missiles of human cum. Those moments are really what the Tonight Show is all about.”

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