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September 28, 2015
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Instead of hating this, we're helping you jump on the opportunity to get free shit because of your child's name.

Matthew McConaughey’s older brother recently became a father to a brand spankin’ new baby boy. Rooster McConaughey (yes, we know) named that little human Miller Lyte (again, we’re fully aware) after his favorite beer.

While that might make you cringe, what is truly beautiful about this capitalistic society we live in, is that now Rooster has been gifted a years worth of his favorite beer for honoring the brand in the highest way possible. Yes, Male Hen McConaughey can now drink all the Miller Lite a year can afford him.

You’re probably not bummed out at all about what this means for the human race and the future of Miller Lyte (the child) and are already brainstorming names for your baby that’ll get you free shit. Here are a few suggestions that you’re more than welcome to steal from us.

  • Advil Marie
  • Toaster Strüdle Louise
  • Ikea Jackson
  • Pret A Manger
  • Nestlie Crunch
  • Taco Belle
  • Frank Pepsi
  • Oscar Mayer
  • Sam’s Club Costco
  • Bic
  • Tiffany Anne Coe
  • Reebok-a
  • Stefon Hennessy
  • Reeses Witherspoon
  • Zara Michelle Gellar
  • C.V. Esther
  • Netflix N. Phil
  • Toby Lerone
  • General Electricia
  • Clinique Monroe
  • Toyota Renee
  • N'Vea
  • Denny’s
  • Jansporscha
  • Funny or Diane
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