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October 22, 2017
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Kurt Angle returns to the ring the safest way possible - in a fight where it's legal to use tables, ladders, and chairs as weapons.

Target Center.jpg

City: Minneapolis, MN
Venue: Target Center
Gate: $7,834,913

It’s time for Home Depot’s favorite pay per view event, TLC - Tables, Ladders, Chairs.

This is no ordinary edition of the event, though: on Friday we learned that Bray Wyatt, Bo Dallas, and Roman Reigns were “sick” and being pulled off the show. There are a few stories about what is the illness but the reality is that WWE made some huge last minute changes: instead of a Shield reunion in the main event, we would get the return of Kurt Angle to the ring.

Also, they drug AJ Styles back from South America to fight Finn Balor. Bullet Club showdown!


1) Emma vs. Asuka

Here’s a match that isn’t affected by #mumps.

Emma snuck a win out of a four way opportunity get destroyed by fight Asuka. These two fought in NXT and Asuka kicked Emma’s head into the Gulf of Mexico.

Asska!

How would you describe Asuka’s look to someone who doesn’t watch wrestling? Villain from a Studio Ghibli film?

She tosses Emma around like a ragdoll.

Emma snuck in a little offense but we all paid to see Asuka. So Asuka tries to pull Emma’s head off.

2) One of these guys is running for Mayor.

3) *Butt-Head voice* Huh-huh, what?

4) Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher vs. Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann

This is sort of about Jack Gallagher turning heel a couple months back but 205 storylines got eclipsed by r/FashionReps’ own Enzo Amore. Most of the heat is gone there, but here we are and everyone’s dressed and healthy so let’s go!

Lot’s of high flying action in this one.

In the end, Swann and Alexander prove the power of friendship is stronger than hate in the form of a three count.

5) WWE Raw Women’s Championship: Mickie James vs. Alexa Bliss ©

Bliss brought Mickie James back to WWE last year but has since dismissed James as old. Mickie said “I’m not old I’m a mom, and I’ll prove it” by dedicating this match to her son. Take that, Alexa.

There’s also something about biscuit butts?

These two are evenly matched.

The crowd starts chanting for tables? Settle down, Minnesota.

In the end Alexa tricks Mickie into the corner, then hits her with a Bliss DDT for the win.

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“Quick, count the pin while she’s sleeping”

6) Still champ?

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“We’re best friends.”

Still champ.

7) Kurt Angle gets his Shield.

8) This again.

9) Cruiserweight Championship: Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto ©

Well, here’s another story with behind-the-scenes controversy.

Rumor and innuendo is that Neville was supposed to lose to Amore on Raw a few weeks ago, and having not liked his booking for months, walked out. That night, they sent out Kalisto who wins the title from Enzo Amore. Now, a bunch of the Cruiserweights that hated him two weeks ago are now his squad? It feels like they just hit a hard reset on everything on 205 Live.

Enzo comes out looking and sounding like he’s still hungover. If you are watching close enough to your screen you can smell the Patron.

Out comes the Mighty Morphin Lucha Ranger Kalisto and he goes right after Amore.

Minnesota, meanwhile…wants more tables? Stop trying to make “tables” happen.

Though he dominates most of the match, Kaliso is the victim of some dirty work from Enzo. It was a thumb to the eye, or maybe a dreaded FOREIGN OBJECT? Amore hits a Jor-Done-Zo and covers Kalisto as hard as he can to reclaim the championship.

10) New champ?

New champ.

11) Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles

So, here’s another weird one. Balor was in the midst of some kinda Ghost Rider shit with Bray Wyatt, but Sister Abigail got him and ¾ths of the roster sick. So WWE flew back AJ Styles from South America for this one-off match.

Wrestling supernerds are creaming their shame zones over the other behind the scenes story of this match: this is the first time these former leaders of the Bullet Club, the most popular wrestling gimmick not in the WWE. Cole almost mentions this and r/SquaredCircle squeals.

The match starts slow; I think they’re gonna go for a while! Crowd is split; half Balor, half Styles, half “This is awesome.”
It is awesome. Minnesota is way into the match even without any story build from WWE.

Lots of hard hitting action and some wild spots:

This one is worth watching. By the end, every move meant something. Lots of stuff we hadn’t seen before. Balor, surprisingly, overpowers Styles and puts him down with a Coup Des Grace:

A HUGE win for Balor that came completely by accident. But this was a fantastic match.

WWE, how would you rate this match?

12) Elias Samson vs. Jason Jordan

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“I have been shamed by man…and kale.”

Jordan has been throwing catering trash at Elias. That’s all I know?

This match is fine. The big story here is Jordan slipping Samson into a rollup from the top rope for a three count that didn’t really look like a three count.

Samson got some good heat from the crowd for his songs but they didn’t seem that into the match.

Jordan wins.

13) Tables Ladders & Chairs match: Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Kurt Angle vs. Cesaro, Sheamus, The Miz, Braun Strowman, and Kane

The Miz went out and built a Survivor Series squad one month too soon to force the Shield to get back together, then face them. Even bringing back Kane to celebrate 20 years of being Undertaker’s brother.

However, Reigns lost a match with illness and was pulled from the show. And now we have - The Angield? The Shiengle?

There it is.

Angle’s just happy to be here.

This isn’t a wrestling match but, in the words of Jim Ross, a Pier Six Brawl.
They’re all over the ring, the aisles. Ambrose and Rollins use anything not bolted down as a weapon.

Angle cheers his kids on with their crazy violence.

Angle hands out some German suplexes and it feels like 2002 all over again.
But then Braun Strowman recovers and reminds Kurt Angle that it’s 2017.

Angle is carted off, leaving Ambrose and Rollins weak for a five-on-two-plus-body-armor beatdown.
A table no-sells for Ambrose.

A stray chairshot starts tension on Team Miz as Kane and Braun give each other tough guy eyes.
Miz calms them down and asks everyone to join him on the stage as he’s ordered a dump truck to take out the trash.

Before the local municipal authority can haul away their human waste, Ambrose and Rollins rally and drag the fight back to stage.

SUDDENLY(!) Kane turns on Strowman(?).

Kane then buries Strowman under a dozen steel chairs.

Now it’s four on two. The Sh–ld rally again but Kane stops them.
Another table no-sells for Ambrose.

WAIT. Strowman is back up. And he’s pissed at everyone. He hits anyone standing until The Miz and Co. overpower the big man and throw him in the garbage truck. It drives off, filled with man meat.
It’s time to seal this deal with a pin in the ring, but suddenly…THAT’S KURT ANGLE’S MUSIC!

Angle cleans house on the opposition, leaving Miz all alone in the ring. He eats everyone’s finishing moves, then the trio set up for what Corey Graves calls the “Olympic Shield Bomb” for the win.


WOW. That was a lot. With the last minute changes this PPV was still full of fun action. WWE didn’t get to pay off the stories they’ve been telling but it was entertaining to watch. Balor/Styles was great and the main event was a throwback to Attitude Era matches.

We’re back next month with the Survivor Series. Lots of Smackdown vs. Raw challenges; it’s the Pro Bowl of wrestling!

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