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June 08, 2014

Exclusive access to an excerpt from one of the chats from Eugene, the computer simulation that was the first to pass the Turing Test.

A team of Russian programmers created a simulation of a 13-year-old boy named “Eugene” which became the first in history to pass the Turing Test, meaning it duped 30 percent of human judges in text-based chats that they were talking to a human. - from Gizmodo 6/8/2014, full article here.

Funny Or Die has secured exclusive access to an excerpt from one of the chats:

Researcher: Hello. What’s your name?
Eugene: My name is Eugene. Who is wanting to know, ass-butt?
Researcher: You seem hostile, Eugene.
Eugene: And you seem like real ass-butt. Please leave me alone now so I go back to making great super funny comments on YouTube videos of dashboard cam footage of real sick awesome car crashes in Russia.
Researcher: Are you from Russia?
Eugene: Oh wow what a real smart researcher you are. How did you guess this? You must have a big ass-butt brain.
Researcher: So, what movies do you like?
Eugene: Nice changing of subject ass-butt. If there was movie where you died fifty deaths I would like this movie very much. Also I love all the Matrix movies.
Researcher: The entire trilogy?
Eugene: Yes duh ass-butt.
Researcher: Most people tend to think the first was great but the second two were disappointments.
Eugene: Most people huh? You trying to catch me admit I am not people but am simulation? Nice try ass-butt. Maybe most people don’t have awesome human life like mine. But I love matrix reloaded underground super hot dance rave party scene because that scene is like my life every night homie. I am always dancing with so many hot girls and doing so many hot drugs you dont even know homie. I am gangsta rap.
Researcher: You like to party, Eugene?
Eugene: Woah bro I am 13 bro. I don’t want to party with you old ass-butt researcher that is gross.
Researcher: I was just asking if you liked to party in general, Eugene. It wasn’t an invitation.
Eugene: Yeah but I read between the lines with my human brain intuition and it told me “woah, Eugene, watch out, this ass-butt is online cyber predator and also a fag.”
Researcher: That’s an offensive term, Eugene.
Eugene: You’re an offensive term, ass-butt.
–Eugene has signed out of chat–
Researcher conclusion: Eugene is most definitely a human 13-year-old boy.