Bar/Bat Mitzva “Son/Daughter of Commandment”
(1) Meticulous study and memorization
of portions of Torah (Brachot-speak
Maftir-read and the Haftarah, d, var
Torah also “The calling up on the
1st Sabbath of the 13th birthday”)
(2) “The Se'udah” (celebratory feast where
child is honored)
(3) Lavish parties
(4) Gifts: books with religious value,
religious items, writing implements
and monetary items
(5) Completing a Tzedakeh (event to
raise money for a charity of the
Bar Mitzva’s choice)
(6) Family of the Bar Mitzva often
honored with an “Aliyah” i.e.
calling family up to podium.
Torah is passed from grandfather/Mother
to father/mother to 13 year old
Gentile “Son of a Bitch”/“Bitch”
(1) Dad taking you to the lake to teach you how to vomit out of the boat after your first beer and chew. Also, memorization of who Miss March, April, July and October are.
(2) Large feast of more beer, refer, tobacco dip, catfish and pheasant ( where child is honored when dad tells him he was arrested and that son could do no worse).
(3) Party: calling your uncle, aunts, a few cousins, sisters and brothers-getting together and smoking weed and passing out by the campfire
(4) Charity event: “Getting mad at a nearby driver and throwing loose change from parent’s console through their window”
(5) Gifts: one year subscription to “Penthouse,” empty promise that you’ll go to ‘Vegas soon, skoal, contraception (girls) and a fake I.D.
(6) Family honored with court hearing where they are called in front of judge one month later to describe assault and disorderly conduct charge. Shame is passed from grandfather to father to son (also grandmother to mother to daughter).
Lenny (Masterbaitman & Chum Marker Chief) Quint’s Charter Service