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October 06, 2014
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Five more gay marriage challenges bite the dust.

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The Supreme Court at the wedding of their cousin Alex, all rudely wearing black.

In a surprise move today, the Supreme Court declined to hear five challenges to gay marriage. The highest court in the land decided not to decide anything about gay marriage in Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin and Indiana, where states hoped to reinstate gay marriage bans that the courts had overturned, according to CNN.

I’m sure Constitutional scholars will have lots of opinions on why the court would fail to act on these cases, but I bet they’re just coming off a long stretch of going to five weddings in a month and they’re like “Ugh, do we really have to go to this thing for Indiana? We haven’t hung out with Indiana since college. Just send a nice card so we can stay in town this weekend.”

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