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June 16, 2016
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"Is it just me?"

What’s up, America? Hillary Rodham Clinton here with a hot question for you. Am I the only one who thinks Donald Trump would be really bad at being the President?

I know he’s already the presumptive Republican nominee, but has anyone given actual thought yet to what happens if he takes over the Oval Office? Setting politics aside for a second, I can’t imagine he would be very good at the job of President of the United States. All the classified Situation-Room stuff, the meetings with foreign leaders, the comforting a nation in times of crisis … he’s gonna be so bad at all of it. There’s no way I’m the first person to think this, right?

Now I’m not saying “PICK ME! PICK ME!” I’m just sayin’ … what are his qualifications exactly? Has he ever done politics before? I don’t think he has. I know he sold steaks and had a brief cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, but neither of those things were good because of him specifically.

home alone.jpg

Good movie, but not sure how it helps him be good at being the President.

If he really wanted to be President, he should have done like I did and married a future President, while simultaneously proving my own qualifications through decades of hard work and political experience. Am I wrong in thinking that? Tell me if I am, but I don’t think so.

Now I’ve never been a big TV buff (too busy/prefer porn), but one show I do remember watching is The Apprentice, which, if you don’t remember, starred Donald Trump as a toned-down version of himself. Looking back, the whole thing feels like a weird move for someone who wanted to be President. How you gonna go from a shitty, reality-TV show to being the leader of the free world? You don’t. It’s too strange. It’s not a translatable skill.

So if your goal was to eventually become the POTUS, why even have that on your resume? I think his time would have been better spent, say, taking a course in American History, or watching “How to be President” clips on YouTube. This type of short-sightedness is just another reason I’m worried he’s not cut out to be the most powerful man in the world. Am I missing something here? Is it just me?

Also, what the fuck is this?


As President, he should know there’s no shame in using a teleprompter. Being Commander in Chief, as I understand it, is a 24-hour job, which means you just don’t have the bandwidth to spend time memorizing your lines like you just scored the lead in your high school’s production of “Brigadoon.”

Instead, you’re better of using that time listening to other people’s ideas and/or weighing the global consequences of your actions, not just winging it for four years by saying whatever bat-shit crazy nonsense you can think of. It’s thoughts like these that would make me think twice before voting for him in November.

And not to kick a man while he’s down, but what is up with all these baseball caps? What’s he trying to pull off with this look? I know he’s got that weird, freaky-man hair, but sorry, no good President would still be a good President if they wore this many hats in public.

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What’s he gonna do come Labor Day when he can no longer wear white?

Seriously, what he’s gonna do with all the problems that come across his desk as President? Just cover them up? To me that’s something a bad President would do. Feels like if you want to be a good President, you should be able to come up with a better solution than, “Put a hat on it.“ But what do I know? I’m just a woman.

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