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April 18, 2017

Lemon Lime Flavor

Lemon Lime Flavor

Sup family?!

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a little while, I’ve been busy changing my life with All Sport sports drink. Nothing says “Lets fuck and make money” like the crisp, clean taste of All Sport.
It all started when I was gassing up my fuckin’ sick BMW motorcycle and some 10/10 bombshell said “You look extremely sad, how about an All Sport, Lemon Lime flavor?”

I said to this dime, “All Sport? What’s that? And more importantly, what’s your name sugar pie?

“All Sport is the fucking best drink on the earth, and my name is Maria”

“Maria, eh? Gimmie a sip of that shit.”

I took one goddamn sip of All Sport and I swear to God my life fuckin’ changed.

“Pretty good, right?”

“Uh…yeah Maria… Pretty fuckin’ good.”

Maria: So anyway, what do you do for work?

Me: I sell mortgages.

Maria: That’s hot.

Me: You’re right. And so are you.

Maria: Hehe, I like the way you talk playboy. What’s your name by the way?

Me: My name?

Maria: Yeah, I am asking what your name is.

Me: Funny you ask. My name is…
*Removes Mask*
The ghost of Noah Webster- American lexicographer, textbook pioneer, English-language spelling reformer- and most famously, the creator of the English language dictionary.


The Ghost of Noah Webster

Maria: Wow holy shit.
Ghost of Noah Webster: Yeah, pretty siiick right?

Maria: Yeah I’d say so, but not as sick as the crisp refreshing taste of Lemon Lime All Sport.

Ghost of Noah Webster: You’re goddamn right.

Sponsored by Merriam Webster, the American Broadcasting Company, and All Sport.