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May 04, 2015
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A take down of a Forbes slideshow that uses photos of non consenting overweight people.

As a person who is neither a.) rich or b.) an asshole, I rarely read Forbes Magazine. When Forbes does manage to grab my attention, it usually pisses me off. Most recently, Forbes posted a slideshow of America’s Fattest Cities.

Obesity rates in America are increasing. It’s an issue being tackled by many people who care and know what they’re doing. Do you know who doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing? Forbes. In this article for their Pharma & Healthcare section, some big, dumb idiot blindly pulls random AP photos of overweight people to illustrate their point.

As a fat person, let me tell you this. We have enough to deal with without worrying that we’re going to end up in the B-roll of your local news story. Please stop doing this!

This slideshow is some of the most insane internet bullshit I’ve seen, and this morning I watched MULTIPLE videos of hippos eating whole watermelons. Take a look at this obnoxious piece of shit.

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And we’re off. Oh man, I bet the person who compiled this barely-researched slideshow thought she’d hit the motherload. What better way to introduce a story about obesity in America than to use a photo of a fat person wearing an American flag T-shirt? Also, it appears that he’s praying. Probably for a world where people won’t take photos of his back and publish it on the internet.

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Here at \#10 is Rockford, Illinois. What shall we use to illustrate the climbing obesity rates in Rockford, Illinois? Oh, I know. Let’s use a photo of a man DOING HIS JOB.

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Great. Let’s shame two women who have already suffered enough when the Packers lost to the Seahawks during last year’s conference championship.

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OK, here’s where we take a turn. Question for the Forbes contributor: Were you just getting lazy? This is a picture of people picking up clean drinking water after their water treatment plant reported a contamination. What the fuck? This is a photo of people dealing with an emergency. I honestly don’t get it. Are you trying to say they could all stand to lose a few pounds after the city sorts out that contaminated water problem?

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A train. Honestly, Forbes. I guess I should give you credit for not publicly insulting people’s bodies, but using a train to represent the city of Charleston, West Virginia actually just pisses me off more.

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I can just see Alice G. Walton quickly typing “Little Rock” into Google image search. This looks to be an event featuring former President Bill Clinton. And there’s a larger person in the back, cradling his tiny baby. Bravo, Forbes. Bravo.

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Wow. All I can think is: at the exact moment the writer decided to use this photo of an innocent child, an actual bear burst through her front door and threatened to eat her whole family. It is the only explanation I can think of for being such a fucking dumbass.

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And in the fine tradition of that weird train, here’s a bluegrass band.

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Perfect. Big people at a carnival. Way to go, Forbes.

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And the final photo to illustrate the obesity … more people DOING THEIR JOBS.

Fuck you, Forbes.

When I become crazy wealthy in a few years, I’m going to start my own Rich Person’s Magazine and put you guys out of business.

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