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January 06, 2015
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Bill Gates Wants Us to Drink Poop. OK, Sure Bill, You First

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Clever boy, thinks he can pull one over on the Benster…


In a new “GatesNotes” video, richest man in the world Bill Gates introduces us to the Janicki OmniProcessor, a machine that allegedly turns human waste into electricity, ash, and clean drinking water. OK, sure. Check out this guy:

Ahahaha yeah Bill, sure “it’s water.” I get your game here. You want all us poor suckers to drink pee and poop so you can sit back and laugh at how dumb and poor we are and also have all the real, actually clean drinking water to yourself and your dear wife Melinda. Is this how you get your jollies? Ugh. Yeah … No. I think I’ll stick with the clean water that comes out of my kitchen sink thank you very much. But, by all means, go ahead and drink your disgusting crap-flecked water, I dare you. Oh man, I have to hand it to you, you almost got us there, I was about to ready to get a big glass full of human waste and drink it down in one gulp … NOT!

Can you believe the nerve of these super-rich guys? They really think just because we have less than $81 billion in the bank that we will fall for ANYthing. I mean sure, in the video Bill is shown drinking out of the vat of poopy water.

And, yeah, the glass he drinks looks very refreshing and I for one am actually very thirsty right now because I had pretzels for breakfast (that’s right, Bill, some of us just eat whatever’s around from last night for breakfast, not caviar omelets like you and Melinda!) and my New Year’s resolution is to drink at least eight cups of water a day and I’m at zero so far so fine, OK, FINE Bill, I’ll let the big rich baby get his way, I’m gonna drink human waste JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO. I hope you’re happy…

Ed. note: Ben is very sick now.

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