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62 Funny Votes
28 Die Votes
9,035 Views
Published September 16, 2011

As a man, its totally beyond me what any of you women see in us. Mostly, I think you like the attention. Unfortunately, most men have the attention span of a gnat. So, before you throw yourself into a doomed relationship with a guy you can already tell is a jerk, consider these...

50 Reasons Why a Vibrator is Better Than a Boyfriend

A vibrator doesn't forget to lift the toilet seat.

A vibrator never misses the bowl.

A vibrator doesn't mind missing the big game to make you happy.

A vibrator isn't allergic to your cat.

You don't have to tell your vibrator “a little to the left” or “up higher.”

Your vibrator always hits the spot.

Your vibrator doesn't roll over and fall asleep before you get a bingo.

Your vibrator stays hard as long as you need it to.

Your vibrator never needs Viagra

Your vibrator doesn't expect you to tell it how great it was afterward.

You know your vibrators sexual history.

Your vibrator never lies about where its been.

Your vibrator doesn't ogle other women.

A vibrator doesn't leave its socks and underwear on the floor.

Your vibrator doesn't expect you to cook for it.

Your vibrator will not leave a sink full of dirty dishes.

Your vibrator won't wreck your car.

Your vibrator doesn't care who you sleep with.

Your vibrator won't embarrass you in public.

Your vibrator is as easy to turn off as it is to turn on.

If your vibrator won't perform, all you have to do is change the batteries.

Your vibrator doesn't expect you to feign interest in football.

Your vibrator hasn't been doing jello shots all night.

Your vibrator doesn't want to set up its drum kit in your apartment.

Your vibrator doesn't expect you to attend its band's gigs.

Your vibrator won't insist on wearing that stupid feed cap everywhere it goes.

Your vibrator never falls asleep in front of the TV.

Your vibrator doesn't have flaming, bug-eyed sculls tattooed on it.

Your vibrator has no arrest record.

Your vibrator has no outstanding warrants.

Your vibrator will not ask you to bail it out.

Your vibrator will not expect you to visit it in jail.

Your vibrator will not ask you to dispose of a murder weapon.

Your vibrator is not an alcoholic.

Your vibrators dog will not shit on your carpet.

Your vibrator will let you have the remote.

Your vibrator will not try out new material on you.

Your vibrator won't take the trash out either.

Your vibrator is only slightly less talkative than the average man.

Your vibrator will not drain your bank account.

Your vibrator has not already slept with all of your friends.

You will never find out that your vibrator is married.

Your vibrator will not introduce you to its creepy friends

Nobody expects you to introduce your vibrator to your parents.

Your vibrator works.

Debt collector do not call your vibrator at all hours.

Your vibrators ex is not trying to track it down for child-support payments.

Your vibrator will not spill bong water on the sofa.

Your vibrator won't remember your birthday either.

Your vibrator won't knock you up.


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