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Published September 12, 2010 More Info »
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Published September 12, 2010


Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and show them a half a cheeseburger.

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and show them a really old guy.

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and show them a stack of porn with the pages "glued" together.

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and dress up a real baby as an antique porcelain doll.

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and interrupt an appraisal by walking up and saying, "That thing ain't worth shit!"

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and show them a paperclip necklace that I made, and then, after they tell me that it has no value, start crying and shouting, "But this is all that I have! You bastards! You have no right to judge my stuff!"

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow with nothing to show and just stand in line dressed up as a little boy from the 1850's while licking a large lollipop.

Someday I want to go to the Antiques Roadshow and pretend that I'm an appraiser and then go around wildly appraising things.

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