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According to White House sources President Obama is said to have been “emotionally devastated” after hearing the news today that the film “White House Down” flopped during its opening box office weekend. “White House Down” raked in over $34 million dollars in its opening weekend which was well below the Office and Management Budget’s estimate of $63 million. President Obama had expected that the film would deliver a much needed boost to his approval ratings which have been plummeting due to recent events such as a muddled Star Trek reference, the public disclosure of the Justice Departments seizure of AP phone records and the acknowledgement of the use of widespread warrantless wiretaps by the NSA on American citizens. According to unnamed sources President Obama privately vented his frustration with the film to Bo by stating that “I don’t know why the hell a movie with a plethora of terse one liners, a president who can handle a bazooka and a sidekick from Chippendales didn’t resonate more with the American public? Come on what more could you ask for? The film is produced by the guys who brought us such prescient science fiction epics such as Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 so needless to say this may be the most pertinent film of our time.”


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